While break-ups are part of life and guide us for our next relationship, they somewhat restrain us from fully trusting our next potential partner.  This is based on how people try to rationalize their jealous or passive behavior caused by unfortunate experiences in their previous relationships. Trust shouldn’t be based on our previous heartbreaks, but rather should gradually develop with time-and sense of security. Many people begin relationships by immediately telling the other person to “trust them,” and once those words are said, a feeling of paranoia can follow. We begin questioning if we really do trust that person and wonder what exactly makes them trustworthy.

Trust is One of the Hardest Things to Gain in Relationships.

Since winter break has passed and spring break is just ahead, couples may separate from their highly intertwined daily college lives to visit their family or friends. While some return home to their high school friends or old flings, others may head to beaches where they’re surrounded by dental floss sized bikinis. These college breaks briefly turn these typically close proximity relationships into temporarily long distance ones. With this picture in mind, how are you confident that your partner is trustworthy?

“It’s normal for couples to separate during a break because I know that I’ll want to have fun with my friends at the club and I know that the guy I am seeing will want to do the same,” said  accounting junior Ally Waltman.

However, for business sophomore Alex Bergman, cheating in a situation like this would be the ultimate deal breaker.

“If I ever had a girlfriend who cheated on me, it would be the ultimate deal breaker,” Bergman said.

While it does sound practical, when has taking a break from your partner over vacations become the norm instead of spending time together? Has trusting your partner become so difficult that taking a break is like the new way to actually deal with a relationship? If people don’t want to be in a relationship, then they shouldn’t be — no breaks, commas or ellipses.

This is why the expectations of being trustworthy have dwindled in the first place because the definition of being “in a relationship” has changed. If a guy is into a girl and is seeing her exclusively but the girl is seeing other guys, not only will this cause heartbreak and an exchange of offensive words, but health risks could be involved.

“Relationships can be tricky things to define, and if you’re in one, you want to make sure that both you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to where you stand. You might think you’re only sleeping with each other, but the reality could be very different and very scary.”

The fact that almost twice the amount of women than men thought they were in a relationship is perplexing and unfortunate. What prompted the women to think they are in a relationship? Are they being misled?  Expecting too much?  Did three dates in one week become a “committed relationship?” Did he pick-up the tab, so a “we’re together” status was assumed?  Is it because girls are naturally born “nesters?”  Where is the fine line between dating and being classified as a boyfriend/girlfriend?

The most pragmatic solution is to discuss what the partners expect from their relationship. When a mutual understanding has taken place, then trust will ultimately follow.

Once trust is earned, no longer will flirting with random bodies in bikinis have an effect on your relationship. Besides, guys should have faith that their partner would rather be with them than hooking up with someone else — isn’t that the very least one should expect out of a relationship? On the other hand, it’s completely normal for guys to look at other girls; it is in their DNA, instigated by testosterone levels and the fact that guys are hunters.

However, Paul Newman once said, “Why fool around with hamburger when you can have steak at home?” So girls and guys, just because you may be looking at other attractions doesn’t mean you shouldn’t appreciate what you already have, so don’t make trust, or lack of trust an issue. Besides, you can always show your “better half” how good they have it with you by reminding them about what made you stand out from the others in the first place.

Communication is Key.

Personally, trustworthiness is based on values, morals and whether the other person initiates the relationship. If two people are in the first stage of dating and are waiting to see what the other person expects from them, instead of forcing monogamy, their relationship terms should be agreed upon. Forcing monogamy could create a sense of obligation causing the other person to run in the other direction to date other people.

It’s like being grounded by your parents as a child; you feel forced to do something that was unjust, so you feel like defying their rules and sneaking out. This feeling of rebellion provides you with a rush of adrenaline that causes the behavior to repeat; you get a “high” from being bad. People who cheat obtain the same adrenaline rush because they act out their dissent against something they didn’t agree to. If you force someone to be exclusive or make them feel guilty for not wanting to be, they are more likely to cheat, and you will be less likely trust them.

As we welcome in the New Year, students make resolutions that they hope will improve their lives. Some have promised to raise their grades, score that dream internship, or land their first job. But one of the most popular resolutions on campus for 2012 is improving relationships.

Not surprisingly, improving relationships is easier said then done. It can be hard to shake our ways and break those habits that hinder us. Regardless, it is important to have healthy relationships with those we care about in order to uphold our own mental health.

Photo Credit: Jenna Chabot

One way we can cultivate these relationships is by trying to meet the needs and expectations of our partners and friends by making them a priority even if it means putting our own goals temporarily on the back burner.

“I think that in order to have a great friendship or relationship it is important to put others’ well being over my own,” education junior Casey Droste said.

Droste hopes to accomplish this by keeping her resolution in her mind and reminding herself of her commitment every time she is in a sticky situation that might challenge her resolution.

“I think in order to have great friendships and relationships it is important to put others first. My relationships are important to me, and I want the people in my life to know that,” she said.

Psychologist and author Dr. Michelle Callahan believes that doing something nice for someone else actually improves our own personal well-being. Callahan emphasizes taking the focus off yourself and growing your relationship with someone else by putting them first.

Doing something for someone else makes us feel important and fulfills our self-presentation goals. When our peers think of us as helpful and kind, it in turn raises our self-esteem and improves our self-image.

However, staying grounded and maintaining your own sense of self is equally important. Granted, helping others can make you happier, but sacrificing your own expectations all together can cause serious long-term problems.

Making sure you are at your best by realizing when to cut your losses can improve your mental health and improve your relationships.

Photo Credit: Jenna Chabot

“My resolution is to work to help my good relationships grow and not be so hard on myself about working to suffice relationships that are bad (for me),” said human development and family studies junior Emily Schmid.

Callahan reiterates that the most important relational resolution is to take better care of you.

“You can’t be your best, when you’re feeling your worst. When you aren’t well, you won’t be the best spouse, parent, friend or co-worker,” she said.

How do you ensure you are at your best? Relax, eat well and exercise. Also, pursue things that interest you or take up a new hobby. Finding new ways for you to grow as an individual can improve your relationship and facilitate your relational growth.

Relational author Julie Spira believes peoples become more appealing when we have our own lives and are confidant and feeling good about ourselves.

Spira says to think of things that used to make you happy that you no longer do.

“Having interests and experiences that have nothing to do with each other means you have more to bring to the relationship,” said Spira.

Resume an old hobby or join a new student organization to help yourself thrive on a personal level and to strengthen your sense of individuality.

However, this can be a challenge to find time to develop your own personal growth, as well as time to nurture your relationships in all of the turmoil of school, work and other commitments.

Plan one-on-one times with your partner so that you can stay connected and share your experiences. Spending quality time alone with your partner give you the opportunity to bond at a deeper level.

“Sometimes you literally have to schedule the time, put it on your calendar and protect it just like you would a meeting at work,” said Callahan.

There is no official quota of how often you should be seeing each other, but many experts agree that having face-to-face time together at least once a week will cultivate a healthy relationship.

But sometimes in our busy schedules, we can’t always make face-to-face time, and we have to find ways to make our relationships work long-distance.

“I want to have people in my life that bring out the best in me and keep my relationships close, even when I’m far in distance,” Schmid said.

Technology becomes a valuable resource to make use of when trying to keep in contact with loved ones, especially in long distance situations.

“Utilize technology to stay close and connected, but don’t rely on it exclusively or allow it to replace face-to-face relationships. Putting in good face time is still an important and necessary way to build and maintain close relationships both at home and at work,” Callahan said.

It is an ambitious resolution to improve one’s relationships, but unlike the temporary satisfaction of other resolutions, improving your relationships will benefit you in the long run.

Lets face it: our friends, families and partners are the ones that make our lives as special as they are. So show them a little appreciation this season by finding ways to improve your relationships with them by making your own relational resolution.

The holidays are over and the new year is in full swing.  Are you longing for the holiday comfort food you indulged in a month ago, like turkey, and stuffing, and mashed potatoes? Or are you trying to forget those caloric mishaps that you’re working off at the gym now?

Either way this recipe is perfect for you! It looks and tastes just like mashed potatoes, but it is made with the healthier, less starchy vegetable cauliflower. It skips all the extra fat and dairy and is completely raw and vegan, but flavor is not compromised I promise!

Ingredients:

-head of cauliflower

-1/4 pine nuts (I used half pine nuts and half hemp seeds, optional could use either or both)

-1 TBS olive oil

-1 TBS water

-3/4 TSP sea salt (or dulse flakes)

-half of a small clove of garlic (chopped)

-fresh ground black pepper, for topping

1) Chop the garlic and the cauliflower on a cutting board.

2) Add all ingredients to the food processor or blender. Blend until smooth.

3) Spoon into blow, make them look fluffy like mash potatoes to trick the people your serve. Eat cold or lightly heat on stove or in microwave just before serving. (But I swear they don’t even need to be heated, they are delicious cold)

Enjoy! They are the best recipe I have ever made I wish I was eating them right now!

I adapted the recipe from my favorite author and celebrity nutritionist  Kimberly Snyder. Here’s a link to the recipe on her blog: http://www.kimberlysnyder.net/blog/2010/02/21/raw-cauliflower-mashed-potatoes/

Finals week is quickly approaching, which means times of high stress are on the horizon.  Along with the struggles of exams, papers, and presentations, external pressures from significant others seem to play a significant role in anxiety.

Communication junior Travis Richards said, ”I feel like exam week puts undue stress on relationships because everyone has such high expectations for their performance that they put all other aspects of life on the back burner including, but not limited to, relationships.”

Obviously finals are a time of high stress, which affects all individuals differently.  When we encounter a stressor, a multitude of things can go on psychologically that effect our behavior, some more governing than others.  Personally, I obsess about the situation and let it dominate my mind until it is resolved.

(sxc.hu)

“I get sassy.  I isolate myself and let the little things bother me.  I also procrastinate because I have anxiety about starting all of the work I need to finish,” said Eli Broad business junior Emily Kmiec.

Procrastination is a strategy that is beyond familiar on college campuses.  However, procrastination enhances stress by causing your work to pile up and making you feel overwhelmed.

James Madison junior Shannon Conaway has a more effective method that will help to reduce stress.

“I compartmentalize, so I take one thing at a time and divide and conquer,” she said.

This strategy is helpful to avoid becoming lost in your work.  Make a list of all you have to do and then go through and complete each task in its entirety.

Special education junior Lexi Justice said her nervousness bleeds into her personal life.

“I can’t stop thinking about whatever is bothering me, and then I begin to worry about everything,” she said.  Like Justice, when many people are stressed, it overflows into their personal lives often causing unnecessary problems.

These avoidable problems can create unneeded tension in students’ lives outside of the classroom.  But how can these stressors be managed and their effects minimized?

Stress leads to irritability causing us to lash out more at others and behave in ways that wouldn’t normally.  When we do act out, those people often attribute our behavior to our rude character instead of our pressing situation.

“The biggest thing is the fundamental attribution error, [which is] attributing things to internal causes instead of external ones,” interpersonal communications professor Kelly Morrison said.

To avoid the fundamental attribution error, look at the circumstances as a whole and determine if you could be making misattributions that could negatively impact your situation, she said.

For Eli Broad business junior Emily Kmiec, the stress of her partner rubs off on to her causing additional unnecessary anxiety.

“It makes me stressed, and I want to help because it feels terrible to be stressed because there’s nothing you can do,” she said.

Personally, I fall victim to what author of The 14 Day Stress Cure Morton Orman, calls ‘Kicking-your-seeing-eye-dog.’

Morton says, “[this is a] pattern whereby you try to change or mold your partner into someone who thinks, feels, and acts just like you do.”

However, trying to change your partner or having unrealistic expectations is not something that is going to benefit your relationship in the long run.

For Justice, running is her stress reliever.

Morrison suggests managing stress by getting more sleep and participating in either yoga or meditation.  She says these hobbies can provide the quiet time you need to handle your situation, without the risk of injury.

Morrison points out that so rarely with all of the various technologies are we separated from the stressors of our lives.  With iPhones, Blackberrys, e-mail and other forms of instant communication, we are constantly connected with work and school with no downtime in-between.

For Kmiec, relying on her friendships to manage her stress is key.

“Confiding in my friends helps to manage my stress by hearing the opinions of the people who are important in my life,” she said.

Talking with friends about stress is a technique Morrison defines as self-disclosure.

“Self-disclosure tends to relieve stress and facilitate mental health, so talking to someone is typically a good idea.  This could be a good friend, a parent, partner, or certainly talking to someone at counseling services on campus,” Morrison said.

Communication junior Travis Richards said, “I divert my stress away from my girlfriend and confide in outside sources in order to avoid putting unnecessary stress on the relationship.”

Shannon Conaway submerges herself in her work in order to ease the anxiety associated with stress, which gives her less time to devote to her partner.

Conaway says, “When I’m stressed, I have less time [for my boyfriend] because I’m too busy with homework.”

However, limiting face-to-face contact with your significant other could be counterproductive because of the insufficient emotional reactions of interacting by the means of technology.

“When you’re online, you’re less likely to empathize because of online empathy deficits,” Morrison says. When you are unable to see the reactions of your behaviors, you’re more likely to act in destructive ways.

By cutting your partner out, you are also losing a valuable support system that can help you through your stressful experience.

So, during this time of approaching angst, try to take Kelly Morrison’s advice by being open-minded and understanding of your partner and look for relaxing alternative outlets to channel your stress.  It could save you relationship, or at the very least help you to avoid a few miscommunications.

As I walked along the Red Cedar River on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, I wondered, “Where are all the guys at MSU?”

It’s not as if I am saying that MSU resembles a girl’s boarding school and it’s impossible to meet a guy, but as a twenty-two year old junior, I feel as if the chances of meeting someone decent before graduation are slim to none.

Unfortunately, most female students find themselves in this situation because as they advance through the university system, their dating pool shrinks while for male students, it expands. When girls enter MSU as freshman, their selection of boyfriends is considerable. Underclassmen, upperclassmen, grad students, grad assistants and even PhD candidates make up the dating pool.

Many senior females feel that it’s somewhat social suicide to be dating a freshman boy, hence the term “boy.”  While these boys feel as if dating someone older is like winning the jackpot; they get a more experienced cougar-like woman. Older females continue to struggle to find that potential boyfriend as they age in a university setting. That “other” campus in Ann Arbor is intertwined with a proper city employing scores of eligible young professional men.

(sxc.hu)

“As a twenty-one year old senior, I feel that my only option is to date senior guys because I am not looking to date someone not old enough to go to the bars with me,” said communications junior Aly Weiner.

On the other hand, twenty-one year old males have no bias towards girls as young as eighteen because having that younger girl on his arm makes him look more masculine and virile. The guy feels more superior with a younger girl because it’s as if they are guiding them through life.  When this kind of relationship dies due to lack of common interests, those young girls yet again find themselves searching for that imaginable soul mate. As semesters pass by as quickly as virtues are lost, girls begin to feel that aching pressure in finding that right guy before graduation.

“By second semester, senior year dating seems pointless…starting a relationship so late in college usually ends in a breakup when we both graduate because we’ll probably be going in separate ways,” said human biology senior Ilana Anders.

When many single girls graduate, their ears are boxed by their parents and friends; interrogative questions about if they’re seeing someone, and if not, what they should do to start and by the time they’re in their late twenties they should be rewarding their parents with grandchildren.

As if the stress of job interviews and applications are not enough, many girls feel pressure to meet the right guy during their years in college. On the contrary, many guys as young as eighteen feel that dating in college should be casual and that if something is meant to work out, it will.

“Dating in college is somewhat unrealistic. Everyone is overwhelmed with school work and when I do meet a cool girl, she becomes too attached to the idea that we’ll be together forever. I am not worried about finding a girlfriend though, three more years is a long time, and there are plenty opportunities to meet new people,” said sophomore Josh Kaplin.

After wondering “what had happened to all the guys here at MSU,” I made my way home and realized that maybe I just need to relax. Sure, we might not like dating younger guys and may be getting older, but I feel females should sometimes compare dating to old Chinese proverbs. In this case “Patience is a virtue,” in the sense that to eliminate that pressure, all students should be patient with having a relationship.

Attempting to please our parents, friends or even yourself by jumping into this committed liaison may end in shambles because of pressure buildup and by simply not being ready to completely share yourself with another person. Some of the best relationships begin when people are not even looking—best friends falling in love or lab partners turning a study date into a romantic one. Being patient is important because romance seems to hit people when they least expect it.

Being in a relationship is like opening a book for the first time and finding it filled with boundless dialogue in a foreign language. You may never know if you will end up understanding the context or if the ending will be happy or sad. So, instead of trying to find that book too quickly and then struggling through those pages, females who feel that pressure of finding the right guy when they’re young should be patient.

When you do feel that anxiety and hear those dreaded questions about why you’re still single, use the other functional aspect of that book by whacking that person across the head with it. This will usually get them to be quiet and you’ll probably get a good laugh out of it.

Pulled an all-nighter lately? It is hard to imagine staying up all night to finish a research paper or study for a final without some sort of energy aid to keep from dozing off in the library.

What most students may not know is that energy drinks and other caffeinated beverages actually have the opposite effect students are looking for when trying to do some last minute cramming.

“Anytime you get too much of a stimulant in your system, it will cause the opposite reaction you are looking for. Instead of feeling more alert it will actually make you feel nervous and jittery which is not going to help your concentration,” Olin Health Center Health Educator Jonathan Kermiet said.

Students may not realize there is caffeine in many things such as coffee, tea, chocolate and other foods or drinks; so if a student is pulling an all-nighter and drinks coffee, then an energy drink and then eats chocolate they will over-stimulate themselves and have a reaction much like an adrenaline rush resulting from stress; which can make it harder to focus on studying, Kermiet said.

After conducting a non-scientific survey of 21 MSU students, nine said they drank one caffeinated beverage per day while two responded claiming they drank more than three caffeinated beverages per day, which could be potentially harmful.

However, more than half of the students agreed they were aware of the negative effects of caffeine on the body and mind.

“People can develop a tolerance and an addiction to caffeine. So the problem then becomes when or if that person wants to cut down or cut off or quit, they will suffer some mild withdrawal–type symptoms; headaches and irritability and some of that which is uncomfortable,” Kermiet said.

“I know that caffeine is in your system for a very long time. The withdrawals give you headaches and coffee addicts may make New Years’ resolutions to quit but have negative side-effects because they were addicted to caffeine,” undecided freshman Alicia Vignoe said.

Photo Credit: Jenna Chabot

While many students trek across campus, energy drink in hand, some still make the decision to stay away from caffeine in their day-to-day lives.

“Caffeine, when broken down to its scientific base, is a chemical. I believe that it’s hard for people to distinguish caffeine as being a dangerous substance because it is (included) in tasty, everyday drinks such as coffee, pop, and energy drinks. One can never go wrong with an ice cold glass of water that boosts metabolism and memory, which is the path I tend to stay on,” major sophomore McKayla Beam says.

Some research suggests that coffee or caffeine may be good for you, but it goes along with the saying “anything in moderation, moderation is the key word,” Kermiet said.

It is hard to give a rule of thumb for caffeine consumption because, like alcohol, it depends on the individual.

“The key for most people (or) what you should be aware of, is that if you are finding yourself to be jittery; feeling kind of strung out…I think that is a good sign to at least stop and ask yourself, ‘Okay what is this from? Is this from the all-nighter I just pulled or from the five or six cups of coffee I had because of the all-nighter?’ I think there are red-flags that people should be aware of,” Kermiet said. “A good rule of thumb, two to three servings of a caffeine source (per day) is sufficient or more than sufficient. Anymore than that…you need to be careful.”

Another trend on college campuses are the Four Loko drinks or mixing alcohol with energy drinks to get the desired energy required to stay out all night while becoming intoxicated.

“When alcoholic beverages are mixed with energy drinks, a popular practice among youth, the caffeine in these drinks can mask the depressant effects of alcohol,” Robert Brewer, an epidemiologist in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Alcohol Program said in a prepared statement. “At the same time, caffeine has no effect on the metabolism of alcohol by the liver and thus does not reduce breath alcohol concentrations or reduce the risk of alcohol attributable harms.”

According to the CDC’s Alcohol Program, Brewer said, Caffeinated Alcoholic Beverages (CABs) are premixed beverages that combine alcohol, caffeine, and other stimulants.

Although the Four Loko drinks were banned from being sold by retailers in Michigan November 2010 because they were dangerous and unhealthy, Kermiet said he would be more concerned about students mixing products of the same kind.

“You’re mixing an upper with a downer basically. The caffeine is a stimulant and the alcohol is a depressant. I think what sometimes that will do is exaggerate the effect of whatever your taking the most of,” he says, “But I would probably be more concerned about those students mixing caffeine with another stimulant.”

Although Kermiet considers alcohol and caffeine less harmful than mixing two stimulants, the CDC still warns of the risks when mixing alcohol with caffeine.

This may seem scary, but you can still enjoy your favorite holiday treats without gaining a pound.  Here’s my holiday survival guide ultimate tip: selectively splurge.  When sweet and savory unhealthy foods are thrown at you from every direction, taking second and third helpings of them all will obviously lead to weight gain overtime; however, trying just one of everything and saving seconds and thirds for those few really tasty treats you dream about all year will leave you in the same shape you started the holidays with.

My recipe this month, tomato and egg brunch bake, won’t break your holiday calorie bank.  And more importantly, it is actually healthy and starting your day with a brunch like this will fill you up, give you the nutrients you need to get through the stress of the holiday season.  And even more importantly it tastes great.

This brunch dish is simple and would be a great dish to pass for family gatherings.  For me, Christmas morning breakfast is my favorite meal of the holidays.  My family gathers at my grandparents house for homemade quiche, coffee cake, and sweet rolls on Christmas morning and it has always been my favorite part of the day.  This baked egg and tomato dish would be the perfect healthy addition, and it’s even red and green.

What are you favorite holiday meals? Comment and share with TBG! Happy Holidays and good luck with finals!

-Katie

Ingredients:

4 ripe vine tomatoes

Olive Oil

4 organic eggs

parsley/basil/chives/ oregano

optional: veggies of your choice. (I added bell pepper and mushrooms)

parmesan cheese 

Steps:

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2) Chop tomatoes into wedges. Chop additional vegetable add ons and herbs.

3) Spread out vegetables in a fairly shallow oven-safe casserole dish.

4) Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.

5) Place in oven and bake for 40 minutes.

6) Remove from oven, sprinkle herbs and once cool enough create four spaces in the vegetables to crack eggs into.

7)  Cover with tin foil and place back into oven for about 6 to 9 minutes or until eggs are cooked to your liking.

Remove from oven and serve on warm toast, bagels, or ciabatta bread with a green side salad.

recipe adapted from BBC Good Food

Hot and Healthy – November from Katie Dalebout on Vimeo.

Welcome to the November Hot & Healthy! This month I wanted to use my current favorite local seasonal vegetable: the spaghetti squash. The spaghetti squash may be the most versatile vegetable at the farmer’s market right now-the possibilities for it are endless. Once halved, seeded and baked for about forty minutes, the spaghetti squash is great plain or with any seasoning from salt and pepper to sweet cinnamon-sugar.  And the seeds make a great snack for later — just rinse them, let them dry overnight and bake them for 15 minutes.

The spaghetti-like strands of the squash give it its name and make it the perfect substitution for pasta. It’s a low-carb, gluten-free and raw alternative for pasta in any dish and to me it’s just better tasting!

So when deciding what recipe I wanted to share this month, I thought why not pair my favorite versatile vegetable with my favorite versatile sauce.  Therefore, I’m sharing my favorite version of mac and cheese with spaghetti squash starring in my video as the mac and an interesting combination of savory ingredients that come together to become a vegan cheese.

While I admit this ingredient list is extensive, it’s worth it. The vegan cheese sauce is so tasty and healthy that herbivores and carnivores alike can enjoy it. The best part of the sauce is that it does not have to be purely used for this recipe.  It would work over any type of pasta noodle, as a sauce for a pizza, or as the cheese for nachos.

Everybody loves mac and cheese right? While this recipe lacks the ease Kraft provides, it makes up for it in both taste and health benefits. It’s a great recipe to make over the weekend and stick in the fridge and eat during the busy week. It also is perfect as a side dish and would accent any meal.  (I plan to bring mine as a dish to pass at my family’s Thanksgiving later this month.) Give it a try and tell me what you think! How does my version measure up to Kraft?

Equipment needed: 

blender
sauce pan
wooded spoon
cookie sheet
large bowl

Ingredients:

1 spaghetti squash 

Olive oil (to cover squash before baking)

1/2 cup cashews
1 1/2 cups water (this makes your cashew milk, could be substituted for other 1 1/2 cups of non-dairy milk)
1/3 cup nutritional yeast
1 1/2 Tbs Arrowroot starch (just for thickening any starch will do)
1/2 lemon, juiced
pinch of dry mustard (I used lots)
pinch of turmeric
1/4 tsp paprika
1 Tbs sesame seeds or tahini
1 Tbs miso paste
1 large clove of garlic (minced) 
sea salt and pepper to taste

Cayenne pepper for topping 

Add ons: I added Broccoli and mushrooms, but you could add any vegetables you like.  Or even meat. (of course that would make the recipe no longer vegan)

Follow the instructions in my video, you can do it!

recipe adapted from: http://meghantelpnerblog.com

I transferred from a college of 20,000 to a university with a student body of 45,000 – I should have met somebody by now!  I assumed that sitting at a café or the library may entail a casual conversation with a stranger, but for me and many transfer students, this is not the case.

Instead, transferring to Michigan State University as a sophomore or junior comes with obstacles when trying to obtain any kind of relationship. Unlike freshman students who enter the dorms with an instant connection with their roommates and communal diners, many transfer students come to MSU unfamiliar with the student social life at a large campus.

I’m not alone in my theories – fellow transfer student and communications junior Emily Bunn said, “A big part of starting out at MSU as a freshman is getting to know so many people in the dorms, and I feel like I missed out on that opportunity.”

(sxc.hu)

As I walk among fellow Spartans, my status is imperceptible to those other students, and a simple introduction in class usually doesn’t lead to outside plans. This leaves us to the rare situation found between transfer students and prospective relationships. Having already been here two months, finding instant reliable friends or even someone to date seems inevitable. When attending casual get-togethers, I assume that the chance of meeting that certain somebody would be promising, but most of the guys I meet are completely unaware about how to make an advance toward a girl, and the ones who do already have girlfriends. This disheartening situation should have a section on the MSU Facebook page with the headlines “Relationship status: Complicated.”  On any given night, these feelings of disappointment only persist as I go to different bars or parties.

At least I am not alone in my frustration. “When I moved here I thought I’d meet people instantly, but the students in my classes are completely silent, and meeting someone at a bar seems reckless and unpredictable,” said fellow transfer student and accounting junior Abby Maynard.

Unless you’re a freshman attending common house parties where meeting someone has infinite possibilities, dating for transfer students should come with a “Dummies” handbook. The guide should include a rulebook about where to not meet people in East Lansing, outlining places that have worked for others and ways to have the confidence to actually make that daunting first move that could be the start of something new and exciting. Finding a romantic relationship in college is a common goal of many students, but transfer or not, being single in college seems to be the vast majority. Regardless of those exceptional committed relationships out there, college students will be college students and will play the field.

“I was seeing this guy who is also a transfer student, and thought since we had this common ground that maybe it would last, but after a long weekend of tailgating and parties, I never heard back from him,” said business sophomore, Kelly Atlas.

Photo taken by Kristi Cookinham

Since there are so many choices and interests at a university, many students prefer to stay single and enjoy the “diversity” that MSU has to offer. So, when a transfer student does finally meet that certain somebody, how are they supposed to keep that individual interested? In life, everything is a game; whether it involves competing against others for a job or internship or maintaining a relationship with a potential partner. As difficult as it is to find that possible girl or boyfriend, it is more difficult to make yourself stand out from the rest of the crowd. As Beyoncé sang, “All the single ladies, all the single ladies, I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips, got me tighter than my Dereon jeans, acting up, drink in my cup, I can care less what you think.” So, take her wise words, put on your favorite jeans, hell, drink tea in that cup, if that’s who you are. All that matters is that you’re being yourself.

As an active participant in this transfer student relationship strategy, I urge all you who transferred or even single romantics to belong to the various societies MSU has to offer. After joining clubs that relate to my major and hobbies, not only did I gain the resume building, but I discovered a new way to meet people that have the same interests and future goals. Whether it’s joining a study group, ethnic dance club, an intramural sport or the Greek system, the more people you meet, the bigger the social group you will gain and discover a further sense of belonging.

So the next time you’re sitting in a café, ask the person next to you what they’re reading or extend a simple smile or “hello.” Being nice never hurts, and it could spur a rewarding relationship or at least a funny story to tell about with your friends.

Leah Kelley smiles as she eats her vegetarian meal in Snyder-Phillips dining hall

TBG sat down with Environmental Studies and Agriscience freshman Leah Kelley to talk about the challenges and benefits of being a vegetarian.

Q: Why did you decide to become a vegetarian?
A: The initial reason was to lower my carbon footprint. Eating lower on the trophic level means that it takes less energy to produce the food that you’re making. If we were going to feed 1,000 people, you could feed them with grain or you could feed them with cow meat. It would take way more environmental detriment to feed them with beef because of the land that it takes and because of the greenhouse gases.

I do believe that the way we fill the animals that we serve as meals…chocking them full of different drugs to keep them from being sick. That can’t be beneficial to us and the hormones to make them grow faster…just the fact that cows are supposed to be grain-fed and they’re not.

Q: How long have you been a vegetarian?
A: For two years.

Q: Has being a vegetarian made any difference in the way you feel?
A: I think I generally feel healthier. I don’t know if that’s necessarily because I’m a vegetarian or because I eat a lot of vegetables.

Q: How hard is it to find something to eat at a restaurant?
A: It definitely depends on where I go. I feel like it tends to be that if I go to a restaurant that is ethnic, I can find something. But I think that in the American culture, meat is very prominent and so if I go to an American restaurant it’s usually pretty hard to find something to eat, which is unfortunate.

But it’s a good thing that I like ethnic food. I love Chipotle because I can just get the vegetarian burrito. And I also like the sandwiches at Potbelly’s. They have a vegetarian sandwich that’s got a lot of mushrooms on it and I’m a big mushroom fan.

I also am allergic to sesame seeds, which sometimes comes into factor from this because a lot of people [say], “Oh you’re vegetarian. You can have hummus and pita,” but tahini is sesame and that’s what’s in hummus. I would go to Woody’s because it usually is a good place for vegetarians, but I can’t have hummus and they put sesame on a lot of things.

Q: What challenges do you face when you eat in the cafeteria?
A: In Snyder- Phillips, in the Gallery, I can always find something. I try to make sure that I’m getting a complete protein. They always have black bean burgers, garden burgers and soy chicken at the grille. And there’s always salad, so I’m constantly able to get something if they don’t have another meal for it.

I lived in Hubbard Hall last semester and it was a little tougher there to get something that I wanted and that was vegetarian. I think you can always get something vegetarian but it’s just making sure you get the complete protein and that it’s something that you want to be eating.

I think I have more trouble with the combo exchange. I’m really busy a lot so I need to get combo exchange for a meal sometimes and the options that they have there for vegetarians are not very good. They have a vegetarian Mediterranean [wrap] that’s much less than delicious and the egg sandwiches are the same—really not good.

Q: Have you ever considered going vegan?
A: It was not my end goal when I started but I’m not opposed to the idea. We’ll see later in life if I’m in a position where I would be able to do that because it takes a lot of time and a lot of money to be vegan.

Q: How have you influenced others by going vegetarian?
A: My sister barely eats meat now. That could’ve been a choice she made on her own but she read a book about how humans weren’t designed to eat meat. She doesn’t eat red meat and she doesn’t make it. You eat meat and it stays in your system for about three days. Meat at that temperature for three days…that just doesn’t seem like a good thing.

Q: What’s your favorite vegetarian recipe?
A: My mom makes really great fajitas and we do home-make the salsa and it’s really delicious. I think my favorite part is the grilled vegetables. Grilled vegetables are amazing. The salsa is so full of flavor and the rice and black beans make a complete protein.

Q: Do you find it difficult to buy vegetarian items at the grocery store, like Boca Burgers, because they’re more expensive?
A: That is something that I would like to see change: the cost of vegetarian substitutes because I absolutely love Morning Star burgers. They’re delicious. It’s really frustrating how expensive they are. It’s nice that I can get them in the cafeteria because they are more expensive than some of the other things.

Mainly, I just go for the sale items and once you do get the food that you need for getting the substitute of protein, just ration. There is a Foods For Living [store] in East Lansing. It’s a lot like Whole Foods…it is more expensive but it’s a good place to go. They’ve got a lot of vegetarian items. I go in there and it’s like [an] overload of excitement for food.

Q: How do you fulfill your daily food requirements?
A: I’ve started taking B-12 vitamins as a supplement because that’s the one vitamin that vegetarians can’t get it [in] any of their substitutes, at least not in a viable form. I know that sometimes supplements aren’t the viable form also, but I feel like it’s better to take that than to not.

Q: What keeps you motivated on a daily basis to continue being a vegetarian?
A: This isn’t the only thing that keeps me motivated, but one of things is that I do have a lot of vegetarian friends. My roommate is vegetarian. I’m really involved in Greenpeace and whenever we have events…where we’re going to need food, I know that there’s going to be vegetarians there. It seems to be that lots of environmental activists are vegetarians, probably because of the same reasoning of the lowering your carbon imprint.

Q: Do you miss or crave any food that you can’t have now that you’re a vegetarian?
A: Sometimes I babysit the kids next door when I visit home. They would have…chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs and I tried so hard to find…them and they don’t make them. I think that’s the one thing I miss.

Q: Did becoming a vegetarian require you to learn much more about nutrition?
A: I was figuring I’d just make sure I ate beans and rice because that makes a complete protein. My mom was really encouraging me to find more things, so I would buy tofu. She would not make anything with it because she doesn’t like tofu, so I would have to make something with the tofu. I generally eat healthy, so other than the protein factor, a lot of vegetarians just end up eating carbohydrates all of the time. I’ve tried to stay away from that and just eat vegetables. ..that’s what I eat most of the time.

Q: What advice would you offer people who want to become vegetarians but haven’t made the transition yet?
A: Do your research. Make sure that you’re reasons are correct and that you’re not just going off what someone told you in passing one day. Also, you can just try it out for a week and just see how you like it.

Click here to see how to make Leah’s favorite vegetarian recipe.

See the video below for Leah’s three things everyone should know before becoming a vegetarian.