By Lauren Walsh

It seems like you’ve been asleep for days. Waking up on a Sunday morning in your own bed is an admirable achievement and waking up somewhere else is well, surprisingly standard. Although waking up in a foreign place such as your sister’s front yard or best friend’s bed may be typical, it’s foremost unfortunate. Waking up not remembering or regretting what happened the night before leaves an aching feeling of discomfort along with a throbbing headache which acts as a constant reminder of “wtf did I do last night?” In these circumstances, vitamins and fluids may cure the physical aspects of a hangover, but the emotional damage is left untreated and therefore requires immediate remedies.  The following five solutions may help relieve that lingering doubt:


1. Phone a friend, find out what happened. When waking up the next morning having no recollection of the night before, the best way to actually get over it is to first find out what happened. Hopefully those questions will be directed towards friends rather than parents, because there are just some things parents shouldn’t know. Getting the facts of what happened the night before alleviates that sense of anxiety and allows you to learn things about yourself that you thought you were incapable of. Such as taking ten shots of tequila or doing a headstand on the kitchen table. Among these remarkable breakthroughs, you might also discover some downsides of last night such as your wallet being missing or that you broke up with your partner after two years of dating. Regardless if the news is bad, any news at all is good news, and that’s why it’s crucial to find out what happened.

2. Check your inventory; make sure you even have a phone to be able to call that friend. When the events of last night unfold, it’s vital to check every pocket, purse, room, and car to make sure that you have your three essentials: wallet, keys, and phone. These items will not only alleviate that hangover stress but will provide a sense of truth to that feeling of uncertainty. Such as you may wonder why you only have two dollars in your wallet after a fifty withdrawal from the bank. Well, my friend, you may have been very friendly last night and bought your friends (or even strangers) several rounds of drinks. Even though you are now broke, look at the plus side, you have random new numbers in your phone and are ultimately a very giving person, so I applaud you. Also, among those new numbers, you may find those seven digits from that girl or guy that you chatted up to last night. This may be a complete exaggeration but calling strangers never hurt anyone. Nevertheless, having those belongings will help cure that emotional damage of a hangover.

3. Apologize, if necessary. After finding your phone, or commendably having it all along, use it to call anyone that you may have injured or insulted last night. Whether you drunk dialed or ran into your ex-boyfriend and called him an asshole or punched someone in the face because you felt like it, an apology is obligatory. For many people, saying “I am sorry” is like facing the death penalty, but if you know or find that you did wrong to others, be that honest Spartan I know you can be and man up to your mistakes. Not only will this help resolve any issues between you and that person, but will help clear that guilty conscious from last night’s calamities.

4. Do penance. If the apology to your friend didn’t suffice then taking them out to lunch or doing their laundry may get you one step closer to forgiveness. You know this always worked when you got into trouble with your parents, so make up for those mistakes by spoiling your friend a little. If a self-directed apology is necessary because you feel so ashamed of your actions or abuse of alcohol, then go do something for yourself. For example, if you drank too much and decided to shave only part of your head because it was hot outside (unlikely in this Michigan weather), go get a real haircut and maybe a massage while you’re at it. If you drunkenly decided to buy the taco twelve pack from Taco Bell at three AM and felt guilty about it in the morning then go for a run or lift some weights. These resolutions will offer a sense of comfort from the emotional damage of that Saturday night.

5. Get over it, and pretend it didn’t happen. So you worked really hard in trying to remember and find out what happened last night, now try and forget it. After making sure you have your entire inventory, apologized to yourself and others for being a complete waste of existence, and making up for it, now try to forget everything that happened. Don’t confuse forgetting those events from not learning from your mistakes. If you portray yourself as that obnoxious drunk, not only will you continue to have these regrettable hangovers and sense of insecurity, but no one will want to hang out with you.  Even though these five steps along with fluids and vitamins may cure that Saturday night disaster, be honest with yourself and recognize that it’s probably going to happen again. So, if none of these five steps work, slap yourself a little and grab a cocktail.

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