Getting Older: Not Always an Advantage

By Lauren Walsh

As I walked along the Red Cedar River on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, I wondered, “Where are all the guys at MSU?”

It’s not as if I am saying that MSU resembles a girl’s boarding school and it’s impossible to meet a guy, but as a twenty-two year old junior, I feel as if the chances of meeting someone decent before graduation are slim to none.

Unfortunately, most female students find themselves in this situation because as they advance through the university system, their dating pool shrinks while for male students, it expands. When girls enter MSU as freshman, their selection of boyfriends is considerable. Underclassmen, upperclassmen, grad students, grad assistants and even PhD candidates make up the dating pool.

Many senior females feel that it’s somewhat social suicide to be dating a freshman boy, hence the term “boy.”  While these boys feel as if dating someone older is like winning the jackpot; they get a more experienced cougar-like woman. Older females continue to struggle to find that potential boyfriend as they age in a university setting. That “other” campus in Ann Arbor is intertwined with a proper city employing scores of eligible young professional men.

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“As a twenty-one year old senior, I feel that my only option is to date senior guys because I am not looking to date someone not old enough to go to the bars with me,” said communications junior Aly Weiner.

On the other hand, twenty-one year old males have no bias towards girls as young as eighteen because having that younger girl on his arm makes him look more masculine and virile. The guy feels more superior with a younger girl because it’s as if they are guiding them through life.  When this kind of relationship dies due to lack of common interests, those young girls yet again find themselves searching for that imaginable soul mate. As semesters pass by as quickly as virtues are lost, girls begin to feel that aching pressure in finding that right guy before graduation.

“By second semester, senior year dating seems pointless…starting a relationship so late in college usually ends in a breakup when we both graduate because we’ll probably be going in separate ways,” said human biology senior Ilana Anders.

When many single girls graduate, their ears are boxed by their parents and friends; interrogative questions about if they’re seeing someone, and if not, what they should do to start and by the time they’re in their late twenties they should be rewarding their parents with grandchildren.

As if the stress of job interviews and applications are not enough, many girls feel pressure to meet the right guy during their years in college. On the contrary, many guys as young as eighteen feel that dating in college should be casual and that if something is meant to work out, it will.

“Dating in college is somewhat unrealistic. Everyone is overwhelmed with school work and when I do meet a cool girl, she becomes too attached to the idea that we’ll be together forever. I am not worried about finding a girlfriend though, three more years is a long time, and there are plenty opportunities to meet new people,” said sophomore Josh Kaplin.

After wondering “what had happened to all the guys here at MSU,” I made my way home and realized that maybe I just need to relax. Sure, we might not like dating younger guys and may be getting older, but I feel females should sometimes compare dating to old Chinese proverbs. In this case “Patience is a virtue,” in the sense that to eliminate that pressure, all students should be patient with having a relationship.

Attempting to please our parents, friends or even yourself by jumping into this committed liaison may end in shambles because of pressure buildup and by simply not being ready to completely share yourself with another person. Some of the best relationships begin when people are not even looking—best friends falling in love or lab partners turning a study date into a romantic one. Being patient is important because romance seems to hit people when they least expect it.

Being in a relationship is like opening a book for the first time and finding it filled with boundless dialogue in a foreign language. You may never know if you will end up understanding the context or if the ending will be happy or sad. So, instead of trying to find that book too quickly and then struggling through those pages, females who feel that pressure of finding the right guy when they’re young should be patient.

When you do feel that anxiety and hear those dreaded questions about why you’re still single, use the other functional aspect of that book by whacking that person across the head with it. This will usually get them to be quiet and you’ll probably get a good laugh out of it.

2 Responses to “Getting Older: Not Always an Advantage”

  1. Sherry Orbach says:

    Very true and funny, you almost have to start college with a boyfriend in tow just so you’ll relax and enjoy the years without “that” pressure

  2. Well you have one thing going for you…at least MSU isn’t really a girl boarding school, then you wouldn’t have any options at all! But I hear ya. Freshman girls have the most dating options in my opinion.

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