Categorized | Arts & Culture

You’ve Got to Be Nuts

This year for Christmas, many of us might expect to receive some pretty great gifts- money, clothes, music. But, among the boxes and bags under the Christmas tree lurks something a little fruity, a little nutty and altogether horrible – the fruitcake.
From Grandma Gene or Uncle Bill, a fruitcake always seems to make an appearance around the holidays, along with that same fake smile as we open it.
One might ask how the tradition on giving fruitcake started? Is that fruitcake hiding under your tree like a land mine the same one you saw cousin Susie open last year? Unfortunately, it really could be. Fruitcake, like canned lima beans, can last a long time. Too long, some may say.
Fruitcake, a marvel of modern cooking that it is, is made out of dried fruits like cherries and cranberries, but the main ingredient is rum. Which, some would think would make it at least a bit more bearable, but it somehow doesn’t…at all. An interesting fact is the cake can last for months, because it has so much sugar pound into it that the water activity, and the other little baddies that cause mold, is low. This keeps the mold from forming and makes the cake last a long, long, long, long time.
Don’t fret if you receive one of these tasty delights this holiday season. There is no cure for fruitcake, but you can still live your post-fruitcake life to the fullest. With the help of JestandJokes.com, like Valtrex, there are alternatives for a fruit-and-nut-free life with only the occasional cake break-outs.
Donate your fruitcake to the local airport for use as airline wheel blocks. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won’t park on your lawn. Or maybe even use one as a doorstopper. So, this holiday season if you receive a fruitcake, be thankful to know that this is an ongoing tradition and that you can make it through alive to give it away next year.

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