10. Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun! That’s the statement that he’d make as a stick of Doublemint gum. This minty fresh idea would show appreciation for his devilish duo, the Bush twins.
9. A Can of Bush Beans: Dubya’s favorite cuisine is Mexican, so the costume has a double entendre as he proceeds to “refry” Iraq.
8. Bush is “Born to Be Wild”! Bush could definitely pull off a bodacious biker look if he were to dress in a leather vest complete with fringe, a Harley headband and tattoos boldly gracing his arms with “I heart Dad,” “Thanks Jebbie” and “Faith or Die” across his chest.
7. A Firecracker: Think of his explosive behavior during the second Presidential debate.
6. Osama Bin Laden because, well, that would just be downright hilarious.
5. A palm tree: In reverence to the state of Florida.
4. Nick from the Great Gatsby: A Yale graduate from old money—sound familiar?
3. A Webpage: so Bush can keep up with all the rumors on the “Intranets”.
2. We’ve all seen his perplexed expressions warped into something from the beginning stages of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. That’s right— Bush should go as a monkey.
1. Yeehaw! Ride ‘em Cowboy! The President can pull off a Texas Ranger without a hitch.
10. A Kerry Mask: It’ll fit like a glove over his prominent nose and jutting chin!
9. A Bulldog: Showing his love for the alma mater he shares with Bush.
8. A Ghost: Kerry claims he has a plan for everything, but for now these plans seem to be just a specter of a promise.
7. He’ll look stupendous in a tux as an Oscar recipient as most convincing role as a sympathetic leader.
6. No need to take the effort to repeat the same lines over and over again. If Kerry dresses as a broken record player, the phrase: “Wrong war, wrong time, wrong place” would be perpetually repeating.
5. Kerry would please his main squeeze if he were to dress up as a Heinz bottle in honor of his wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry.
4. A Beach Bum: Complete with flip flops attached to his feet and his language.
3. Kerry should go as one of his top supporters in the music biz – a lovely blonde Dixie Chick. While he’s at it, he would likely change the lyrics of “Goodbye Earl” to “Goodbye George.”
2. A Giant Scrabble Board: Rhetoric, rhetoric, rhetoric! The costume would allow Kerry even more time to put together words, his favorite pastime.
1. Throw out those Purple Heart awards and throw on bell bottoms, tie-die T-shirt and peace sign necklace and you have John Kerry as a hippie! There is no way he could find a more perfect costume.